Obsessive negativity, persistent perfection analysis and other stress behaviors that affect your family
It is common for people to suffer stress and anxiety, even in supportive family conditions. Recognizing behaviors that increase anxiety and stress is the first step in ridding yourself of this discomfort. There are three obsessive behaviors, and you may not indulge in all three, but any of them have the power to make your family life less happy than it should be. These stresses in your family life might have originally been able to be controlled or alleviated by indulging in hobbies or interests such as landscape photography but you might find that your life is overtaking you. So what are these behaviors?
Obsessed negativity is the first, and it is quite simple to self-diagnose. People with obsessed negativity tend to be generally negative about things that happen in their life. Sometimes it’s just one area, such as work, but it can pervade your entire life, from your family and friends, your personal image, places you go, situations you encounter, politics and more.
Obsessed negativity can be from the banal (“There is never anything good on TV when I want to watch”), through to the more deep-seated psychological and self-esteem-related thought patterns (“I can never do anything right”, or “People are out to get me”). Solid patterns of negativity like this often prevent you from seeing legitimate good things that happen every day all around you.
Obsessive perfectionism is the second challenge and can be a deep source of anxiety. When you engage in obsessive perfectionism, you are centred on trying to do everything “just right” to the point to where you’re driving yourself into an anxious state of being. You may find yourself making statements such as, “I have to do this right, or I’ll be a failure!” or “If I am not precise, people will be mad at me!” This behaviour might be totally under the threshold of your awareness, but it interferes greatly with your ability to enjoy things without feeling stress.
An obsessive analysis is the third one. You might be obsessed about minute details of processes and procedures, going over them again and again until you are sure you understand it in minuscule detail – often far more than is required. You may feel the need to repeatedly go over the finer details of the task, repeating the order in your head just to be sure you’ve got it right. You can’t relax if things go wrong!
An excess of analysis robs you of time to enjoy your life. You’re caught up in a loop and you need to break free by reassuring yourself that all is well and undertaking activities that take your mind off it. Understand that not doing the analysis will not compromise your life.
If you recognize any of these blocking behaviours in yourself, there are tactics you can use to address them and help free yourself of them without having to resort to a clinical consultant. First, ask a few trusted friends or relatives whether they think you are negative in general, or if they think you are difficult to be around.
Explain the three blocking behaviours and ask them to specifically address those as opposed to things that might not be relevant. The insight you will get from others’ assessment of you is invaluable and you’ll know precisely how others see you.
Secondly, keeping a diary of what you do and how it makes you feel can help identify the activities that cause blocking behaviours. Once you start to see patterns you can make changes to break those destructive activities down and replace them with positive activities.
Relieving stress can often be accomplished by exercise, such as shooting some hoops or exercising at home. These can also help play a major role in contributing to a healthy and happy family life.